


5 times Spock misunderstood phrases and 1 time Bones did

by AspieVulcan



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: 5 Times, 5+1 Things, Enemies to Friends, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Happy, M/M, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-15 19:47:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16939563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AspieVulcan/pseuds/AspieVulcan
Summary: Spock doesn't understand humansbones doesn't understand Vulcans





	1. Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "the captain tends to care for many things he most likely should not"

"well fuck.. how are we going to get out of this now?" McCoy asked seeming more and more tired by each second.

"Patience doctor, the captain will find a way to free us." Spock replied scanning the rocks that had blocked the exit again.

"You know there's no way out why are you scanning rocks"

"On an alien planet there is always more to explore, in this instance the chemical composition of this dust it slightly abnormal." Leonard sighed at that, they were stuck in a cave and Spock was more worried about dust than escape... Typical.

"Aren't you even slightly worried about escape!"

"Doctor you do not seem to be contributing much towards that goal either, I also have reason to believe that the captain will find and rescue us." Spock said as he sat to further analyse the dust.

"Hah, that doesn't sound very logical Mr Spock! Blind trust in a human? We are SO illogical, how could your computer brain make such an error!"

"I am not blind in any way, it is quite logical."

"Oh it is now? How so." McCoy said getting ready for their usual fight.

"The captain insists that we stop  _'bickering'_ "

Mccoy was a little taken aback, what did this have to do with escaping the cave, besides they both loved arguing so what exactly was the problem? Then it dawned on him, Jim had basically shoved the two of them into the blocked half of the cave as the rocks started to fall and he swore he would be extra harsh with Jim's next hypo.

"Why the hell does he care!?"

"I find that the captain tends to care for many things he most likely should not."

"Hah, you can say that again!" Leonard chuckled and Spock almost looked confused.

"I find that the captain tends to care for many things he most likely should not." Spock repeated, McCoy then proceeded to laugh at a very confused Vulcan for 10.752601 minutes.

And of course Jim saved them

 

 

 


	2. Apple a day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Why would I want you to stay away?"

After an unexpectedly long surgery McCoy finally left sickbay to go eat lunch with Spock and Jim. When he arrived he was treated to an uncommon sight, Spock and Jim were arguing. He smirked and strolled over to his two friends.

"Gentlemen! What is going on here?"

"Bones! Just the man I need! Tell Spock he needs to eat more!!" Jim practically shouted.

"Pomleek soup is perfectly nutritional captain" Spock replied but Jim continued.

"Yeah but what else have you eaten today!?"

"Jim, last time I checked Spock was perfectly healthy." McCoy finally interjected but Jim still continued 

"We all know he prioritises work above his health and he's doing it again, LOOK he's even working on his pad right now!" Jim argued and McCoy had to agree on that, Spock would do anything to work, it was a struggle to just keep him in sickbay.

"Now then Spock, you know that you have to look after yourself or you'll ends up in sickbay!" 

"That would be.. undesirable." Spock contemplated the consept slightly as Jim sat shocked at how easily McCoy convinced him when he had been trying for half an hour straight.

"Just remember that an apple a day keeps the doctor away!" McCoy said as Spock glanced up at him seemingly confused

"Why would I want you to stay away?" Spock questioned curiously as Leonard coughed on his drink.

"Thought you hated the doctor and sickbay"

"Sickbay is certainly displeasing but you are ... A vital member of the crew." McCoy was shocked for a moment, he knew Spock didn't hate him but he never expected to hear it.

"What are you saying about my sickbay!"

Jim smiled in the corner thinking of genius plans he could use to get his two friends to be honest with each other for once.

 

 


	3. Last straw

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "why do you want to hate me?"  
> "Because it would be easier you unfeeling hobgoblin!"

McCoy collapsed into the chair, he wasn't in his office today instead he was at a desk just outside so he could see his patients, he very rarely did this, only when Spock or Jim were unconscious.

It was Spock in a healing trance again, their resident Vulcan seemed to have found a new hobby which involved sacrificing himself at every and any opportunity. It was stupid, wreckless and illogical but Spock always said the same thing.

"The captain must be prioritized." 

McCoy glared at Spock as he went over to hit him out of the trance.

"Spock! You've got alot of explaining to do!"

"As I have previously mentioned doctor, the captain must be prioritized."

"That doesn't mean you have to die! You could just push him out of the way, why do you always take his place it's completely illogical!!"

"I-- doctor-" Spock tried to interupt but it didn't work

"Do you have a fucking death wish Spock!? Cuz it seams like you do, maybe next time I'll do you a favour and not fix ya up next time cuz this is the last fucking straw Spock!! You've got me so fucking worried!" McCoy screamed not noticing Spock's now recognisable confused look.

"Doctor.." Spock said looking round "there is no straw on the ship"

"WEL-" McCoys brain caught up with his mouth and he burst into uncontrollable laughter, he had Spock back, that's all that mattered.

"God I wish I could hate you"

"why do you want to hate me?"

"Because it would be easier you unfeeling hobgoblin!" Spock seemed to contemplate this for a moment.

"I will attempt to be more careful in the future.. however I am now fit for duty so-"

They continued their usual arguments as if nothing happened


	4. Spilt milk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "This has nothing to do with milk Leonard and if it did I would not have spilled it."

"hey Spock"

"Doctor."

"Mind if I sit?" He McCoy asked and Spock simply nodded, there was no one in the mess hall as it was night night shift so if people were awake they were working. Of course Spock was down here in the quietest place he could find to work.

"You need sleep, don't make me Forse you!"

"Vulcans do not need as much sleep." Spock replied without even looking if from his padd. McCoy groaned.

"Look Spock, I know it's hard or I guess you would pretend it's logical but you can't get them back whilst sleep deprived! They aren't even in danger, they are safe, in a hotel that we are in contact with!!"

"They are part of the science crew and therefore my responsibility."

"Well then why aren't you on the bridge?!" He asked knowing the answer, this had happened more times than he could count.

"The captain ordered me to sleep." He said reluctantly

"And your disobeying that order! Come on I'm making sure you sleep, that's an order!" After Spock made no attempt to move McCoy went over to take Spock's padd.

Surprisingly it slid right out of Spock's hands.

"Come on now Spock!" But Spock stared at him, there was something strange about the Vulcans familiar face that McCoy couldn't quite pinpoint.

"Doctor.."he mumbled staring at his hand which McCoy had accidentaly brushed past, Spock was too tired to control all of his barriers so McCoys emotions were clear as day to him.

McCoy determined that Spock was probably upset that his padd was taken away and was confused when his brain brought up a cat who just lost its mouse toy. He shook the adorable thought away.

"God Spock do I have to drag you there?! Don't cry over spilt milk!" This time he immediately saw the usual confused look.

"This has nothing to do with milk Leonard and if it did I would not have spilled it. Neither am I crying, I do not see how it relates to the conversation."

Spock continued to try to solve this strange somehow milk related mystery as McCoy tried to determine if Spock had really just called him Leonard.


	5. Fuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "that would be highly inappropriate at this time."

"it's ok, don't worry you'll be fine!" McCoy said looking for his med kit, Spock raised an eyebrow.

"I know this doctor, it is a minor injury and we are in no immediate danger."

"Oh shut up Spock! God where is it!?" He replied searching round the shuttle rubble.

"I doubt your 'god' will know where your equipment is not will he reply, of course this is assuming  _'he'_  exists. Which is highly illogical." McCoy was too panicked to reply, Spock was right, he would almost certainly survive but it was McCoys job to get people out of pain and he couldn't bear the idea of Spock hurting.

Finally after heaving up a metal sheet he found it and rushed over to Spock, the deep cut on his arm could be healed very easily even down here with their limited supply but Spock had already lost a significant amount of blood and could be a little less logical for a while.

"Of course if there is a _'god'_  then it would most likely be a superior speceis that we do not yet understand" 

"Your still going on about that huh?"

"Yes Leonard is that not obvious?" Spock frowned slightly as McCoy tried to hide his smile, he loved it when Spock called him Leonard, he had been doing it more often recently and McCoy had to fight to control his excitement each time.

"Called me Leonard again Mr Spock!"

"Ah, I apologize I will endeavour not to."

"Oh fuck me! Don't stop your progress!" Leonard replied almost laughing. He then noticed Spock's almost shocked and very confused face.

"that would be highly inappropriate at this time."

"What? wait.. What!"

"that would be highly inappropriate at this time.. Leonard"

"No I didn't mean that! It's a human saying!!"

"Ah that seems much more logical"

"Yeah.. wait... Did you say at this time?" He suddenly realised he had said that out loud by mistake and turned beet red, hopefully Spock's memory of this would be hazy due to the blood loss.

"Yes leonard" Spock replied emotionlessly as McCoy tried to catch up with his brain. "I like your name Leonard. Leonard.. Leonard lllleonnarrrd.."

"Ok now the blood loss has really gotten to you!"

Half an hour later Jim managed to contact them and transport them back up to the ship unharmed, of course Spock and McCoy never directly spoke about it again but Spock didn't stop calling McCoy Leonard and McCoy still loved it just as much.


	6. Darling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You can't use your language against me, it's cheating!"  
> "Now you understand how I feel about your human phrases."

By this point it had been two weeks since the shuttle crash and everyone on the ship could tell that Spock and McCoy were in love, even they themselves might be begining to notice.

It had been another long day in sickbay and he was especially tired today, luckily his shift ended soon and he could see Spock, they had begun to silently form a routine which involved seeing each other as much as possible and this involved Spock picking him up from sickbay to have their usual lunch with Jim.

"Leonard, are you finished?" Spock appeared in the doorway.

"Your early, my shift isn't over yet Spock."

"Ms Chapel kindly allowed me to distract you from your duties before lunch, apparently you have been overworking yourself again." Spock said rising an eyebrow.

"Oh, no more than usual darling!" He realised he had let the last word slip and covered his mouth in shock as if it would stop further slip-ups, luckily Spock only raised his eyebrows further and didn't make a comment.

"You must not over work yourself, your duties will not be done to an appropriate level if you are deprived of sleep." Spock replied as McCoy rolled his eyes in an exadurated manner.

"And where have I heard this before!"

"I admit I am not the best example but my point still stands Leonard."

"Oh don't play the Leonard card! It's unfair and you know it!" Spock smirked slightly.

"You must not overwork yourself  _ashal-veh_ "

"You can't use your language against me, it's cheating!"

"Now you understand how I feel about your human phrases." They continued to talk for a while before heading off to lunch.

That night when McCoy was back in his quarters he searched ashal-veh to figure out what the damed Vulcan had said.

Ashal-veh: darling, term of endearment.

McCoy felt it then, he had not fully noticed it before, his love for that pointy eared hobgoblin was pulsing through his veins and he wanted to run and hug Spock, but he had to wait for the morning. The night had never seemed so long.


End file.
